Little bit of sadness

You know, I’m someone who, every now and then wanted to cry. It was so yesterday, it is today and I’m sure I would be in future.

I do it anyways because I want to spit things out, I want to express everything at least to myself. I want to be emotional.

I remember when I was in 1st or I think in 2nd standard, I always cried because I didn’t get this and I didn’t get that… I grew up, started understanding things better but then I cried for making mistakes. Not just because my mom beat me but by my nature, every wrong thing that I saw, every once in a while I saw someone crying, I wanted to cry..like till date, it’s hard for me to see people cry.

and then I grew up and I cried because my parents hardly had money to pay my class fees. I remember how I would take it in writing from my father that he will pay my class fees in next X days and I would show it to my coach so that he would let me sit.

Simple things such as my mom got up for me just to wave me bye for my class, made me cry.

and then I grew up and started under standing more. I understood how my father would have to do his duty + sewing work so that he can earn for family. I mean hey, struggles are everywhere but common, I never wanted my father to work so hard for us…

I remember, everytime I waited for my father at bus stop to give him his tiffin .. and everytime I asked my father to let me be with him in the bus and he said NO! because he did not want me to see him ticketing in the bus…that made me cry !!!

and then I grew up, went to Pune for my Masters, everytime I waited at bus stop for collecting monthly money from one of the drivers and the fact that I knew, it’s just Rs.3000 for whole month and that my father still had hard time sending those to me every time, it made me cry.

and then I grew up, got my first job, started working…I remember, my parents were so happy to tell everyone that their son got job, everytime I went home after that, I could clearly see, feel the shining in her eyes… she never cried .. but I did !!! a lottttt…

and then I grew, things felt ( avoiding the word ‘seem’ here, excuse me) to be on track .. finally !! my father was done with his duty, my mom had less job to do now, I had some close ones…I was happy for a while, thought of being happy for the rest … but then ..ended up crying !!!

In this very moment, I’m still growing, I got to read an interview of one of my best friends, I went to the mirror, I though I won’t .. but I did !!! I didn’t know why, but I did cry…

and I’m sure, it’s gonna be like this for the rest of it .. and I’m okay !!!

Look, I don’t really mean to show up my cries here, I wanted to share it just like any other story…

Though I’m not grateful for the cries, I certainly don’t see anything bad with it.. that’s just who I am.

Forget this all, it’s just me and an article…

I love being emotional….Have a great day ahead. 😊