I remember how I used to keep looking for butterflies in our garden for hours. I was always fascinated by their colors and wanted to have one.
One of my favorite things to play with after school was to take my tennis ball, sit in the garden and keep bouncing the ball on our wall.
And then suddenly a butterfly would come, I would put my ball down and would track it slowly so I could catch…and then just before I would catch it, it would fly and sit on the other leaf and I would follow…very slowly. I used to do this for hours.
I never wanted to kill it so every moment, I was very careful that while I catch, I won’t hold it hard.
After I catch, I always felt bad to take its freedom out, so I would decide that I would hold it only for X minutes and would enjoy looking at it till then… I would sit down and keep looking at it as much I want .. once the time is up, I would let it go.
I could see it’s innocence, I would see how different it was from the rest of the world … and I’ll be honest, it wasn’t easy to let it go. I always wanted to hold it for 2 more minutes…but I never did.
As beautiful as it was, Giving it it’s time back was also important. I believed that no matter how good my thoughts and intentions were, that butterfly would barely know it, it would be angry that I held it.
So no matter how badly I wanted to hold it, I did not…I always asked god to let that butterfly know that I wasn’t being evil and I never will.
And then I used to keep our garden fresh, I used to plant flowers and vegetables so that the butterfly comes back again and that it would let me hold it.
I remember, I used to start playing with my ball and would start watering the garden .. and if I did not find one, I would take my notebook and would sit there down for study so that I would get more time to wait for it while I do my study.
There wasn’t internet back then so I did not really know how do they sound like. So I would keep trying to change pitch and make different noises so that it would know that I’m there…
I always enjoyed looking at it and was always afraid that time to hold it is coming close …